Wedding Planning. It is something that I should love. Something that I should love to talk about. Something I should look forward to (including tons of pictures to look through-- no pressure Robin! haha). I'm not loving wedding planning & loving to talk about wedding plans & looking forward to my wedding. Well, okay, I lied, I am looking forward to the wedding.. TO BE OVER!
Unfortunately, I {absolutely} am regretting this whole wedding thing.
Don't get me wrong, I love Chris with all of my heart. I am excited to spend the rest of our lives together. Take his last name. Have babies (especially this one!). I'm excited to make the commitment to ourselves & God that we would be true, faithful & loving to each other forever and always. And all the other ::wonderful:: things that come with marriage.
However, wedding planning is nothing like planning a vacation. Vacation planning is exciting. Finding all of these cool places to go sight see. Indulging yourself in a new culture. Meeting new people. Hoping that you could live there. May be for a month or two. Please!?
So, why, you may ask... do I feel this horrible about my own wedding. WHY!?
May be it's because every one of my "creative" ideas get crap from people. Mind you, I don't pull these ideas from my bum. I see them on theknot.com (multiple times) & wedding blogs. Real people have ALSO utilized these ideas! May be it's because I am told constantly, "It's not me. But, whatever, it's your wedding." with a rolling of the eyes. May be it's because I am told I should revise almost all of my ideas so guest aren't confused. Ever thought guests might like to see something DIFFERENT than the typical, cookie-cutter wedding. Ever thought that I am not the TYPICAL bride. Ever thought about that it is MY wedding. Ever thought that may be I ask for opinions & tell you my ideas not so you can "mock me" but because I love you so much I want you to be involved & so you will listen to & support me.
When you read this, you may think some of the following:
I love my family.
I love Chris' family.
I want everyone to be a part of this wedding because everyone means so much to me. Not that this blog reflects that so much : /
Originally, I wanted everyone that was involved with this wedding to be only close friends & family (including many vendors). I wanted a simple wedding with a big guest list (haha, I know, quite impossible. I wanted to make it work!). I wanted a wedding where guests went home and said "Wow! That was SO Chris & Christina. It was so meaningful and full of love & happiness." I wanted this experience to be some of the happiest moments of my life.
It has grown to be the most stressful moments of my life. More stressful than Calculus. And let me tell you, Calculus is... bad! I have cried more than in the last few months that I ever have my entire life. Quite frankly, THIS SUCKS!
So, what do I do now? Post this blog. Hope others will read it. Hope they will not take offense to it. Hope I don't get crap once more. Hope others will realize that I love them and this is not meant to hurt them. Continue to suck up my feelings and just let others plan the wedding without elements of my own wedding be reflective of the couple Chris & I are and have become.
I may have to lock myself in the apartment until things cool over. I might not have to. Let's hope I don't.
All I know, is that Chris means everything to me. I can't wait to be husband & wife. I'll leave with a quote that pretty much sums up my life right now:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
However, wedding planning is nothing like planning a vacation. Vacation planning is exciting. Finding all of these cool places to go sight see. Indulging yourself in a new culture. Meeting new people. Hoping that you could live there. May be for a month or two. Please!?
So, why, you may ask... do I feel this horrible about my own wedding. WHY!?
May be it's because every one of my "creative" ideas get crap from people. Mind you, I don't pull these ideas from my bum. I see them on theknot.com (multiple times) & wedding blogs. Real people have ALSO utilized these ideas! May be it's because I am told constantly, "It's not me. But, whatever, it's your wedding." with a rolling of the eyes. May be it's because I am told I should revise almost all of my ideas so guest aren't confused. Ever thought guests might like to see something DIFFERENT than the typical, cookie-cutter wedding. Ever thought that I am not the TYPICAL bride. Ever thought about that it is MY wedding. Ever thought that may be I ask for opinions & tell you my ideas not so you can "mock me" but because I love you so much I want you to be involved & so you will listen to & support me.
When you read this, you may think some of the following:
- "Wow! Christina is crazy."
- "Gosh! That really stinks."
- "Why would she say that!?"
- "Fine. I won't help."
I love my family.
I love Chris' family.
I want everyone to be a part of this wedding because everyone means so much to me. Not that this blog reflects that so much : /
Originally, I wanted everyone that was involved with this wedding to be only close friends & family (including many vendors). I wanted a simple wedding with a big guest list (haha, I know, quite impossible. I wanted to make it work!). I wanted a wedding where guests went home and said "Wow! That was SO Chris & Christina. It was so meaningful and full of love & happiness." I wanted this experience to be some of the happiest moments of my life.
It has grown to be the most stressful moments of my life. More stressful than Calculus. And let me tell you, Calculus is... bad! I have cried more than in the last few months that I ever have my entire life. Quite frankly, THIS SUCKS!
So, what do I do now? Post this blog. Hope others will read it. Hope they will not take offense to it. Hope I don't get crap once more. Hope others will realize that I love them and this is not meant to hurt them. Continue to suck up my feelings and just let others plan the wedding without elements of my own wedding be reflective of the couple Chris & I are and have become.
I just don't know.
I may have to lock myself in the apartment until things cool over. I might not have to. Let's hope I don't.
All I know, is that Chris means everything to me. I can't wait to be husband & wife. I'll leave with a quote that pretty much sums up my life right now:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
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Aww. Christina, I love you and your wedding is going to be absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! It wouldn't be your wedding if it didn't have little Christina and Chris quirks (Is Strobie going to make it? lol) {TRY} not to stress out too much, it will all come together perfectly! And if you need any help or just someone to vent to let me know!! We still have to have lunch anyways!!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Kellie